Mind you, I come from a loving family and a stable home environment. I am fortunate in this, and in the fact that I can count upon some wonderful friends. For these reasons alone, I should worry less about the fact that my love life, as of late, has been little in the way of fun and a whole lot of frustration. Never mind that the most recent of my romantic entanglements might better be described as a long-forgotten figment. Truly, I shouldn’t let it bother me.
(But, still, I have my moments.)
I would suppose that this kind of thing will happen, from time to time. We’re likely all prone to the feeling, however occasional or fleeting it might be, of being stuck in a rut, of being worn down and tired, of being stagnant and stale, whenever not enough in the way of positive change seems to infiltrate your life.
***
If these past few months were the only indication, then you would be best to forget about dating, let alone any kind of meaningful relationship. Your better efforts have not been working. Those lips of yours have not been properly kissed in, well, far longer than you might like to admit, and so, yeah… it’s perfectly understandable that you’d look to shake things up a bit.
You begin by going shopping and that we understand, for never in the past have the holy, healing waters of Retail Therapy been wont to let you down. Those thick and curly locks probably are due for a trim, and as for making the decision, here and now, to start hitting the gym with greater dedication? We say, good for you! Stroll around the aisles of your nearest Barnes & Noble, while you’re at it, and pick up a good book or two. Maybe take up a new hobby. If you walk to work along 5th Avenue, perhaps this morning you take Madison, instead—anything, provided it leads to a disruption of the status quo.
What you need, after all, is something new—something different. This entire effort is about rejuvenation, reinvention, about injecting life with a high dose of potential—or, to put it another way, about imagining once again all that is possible in life. The hell with just the marrow! You’ll be taking along the bone, as well (thank you very much), because for any sort of meaningful change to take root, to truly take hold, things have to feel differently, first.
Otherwise, a few days will pass by and you’ll begin to wonder: Is it really a question of pattern or process? You believe in the notion of free will. It’s not as though the circumstances that we occupy simply spring up like weeds, like wildflowers, without the influence of purpose or intent. Choices need be made, yes, but that very first and most fundamental choice does not concern behavior. It comes down to how you feel and to what you believe.
It begins with attitude.
***
A few days ago, I was reading from an interview with the actor Neil Patrick Harris. You might know of him as the child star who played a doctor on TV, but that was many years ago. In the time that has followed, he has been a Broadway star and a host of both Saturday Night Live and the Tony awards. Come this Sunday, the man who is otherwise known as “NPH”, the breakout star in the ensemble cast of CBS’s How I Met Your Mother, will add another line onto his resume, when he hosts the primetime Emmys.
Not to stray too far from the point, the aforementioned interview quoted Neil Patrick Harris as saying, “It feels like if you go out of your way to make something happen, it rarely does. But if you allow for good things to happen, they seem to.”
***
We can continue to push and shove, in an effort to try and bend this world to fit our own particular whims.
For instance, I can carry on with the writing of an open letter, addressed to the girl who I might one day like to marry. We can both go about making halfhearted attempts with relatively pretty people. One of us might even succumb, before too long, to the soul-sucking exercise that online dating would seem to be.
I can go out to the bar and ask for some poor girl’s number, only to lose it during the cab ride home. You can decide to date a guy who isn’t nice to pets or plants, let alone particularly interesting. Maybe we’re just biding our time. Perhaps there is something to be gained from all the trouble and the heartache.
People talk to me, and they try to chalk the whole thing up to timing. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but until this cockamamie clock decides to strike upon something meaningful, I’m going to try and maintain my perspective.
In spite of the efforts being made with blogs, with bars, or even blind dates, it is all about attitude. I know of no other way than to continue to believe that you may well be right around the corner, hurrying to get here and anxious to arrive.
I just want to be ready when you do.
